1. I’m feeling a little prickly today! Guess it’s time to break out the old Venus Deluxe Divine Mango Goddess 4.0. 2. Shoot, I’m down to my last cartridge. 3. It’s a little dull and there are a couple errant hairs stuck in the blades, but desperate times, desperate measures. 4. Besides, if I buy new razor blades this month I’ll have to give up something equally expensive. 5. Like food. 6. I get that there are other injustices in the world but WHY have we not addressed the egregious cost of buying those shitty little plastic things? Do dudes have to pay that much? Would I save more by waxing, or Nair-ing, or getting super high-tech laser hair removal, like added up over time? THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY THAN THIS. 7. Whatever, I have to leave in half an hour. 8. Into the shower I go.
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