Until recently, I was firm in my Scrooge-like belief that the only good Christmas sandwich was the kind cobbled together before the Boxing Day movie starts on the TV. Perhaps we all soften as we get older, but having tried 23 of the current commercial crop and lived to type the tale, I think 2019 is a vintage harvest: most of the turkey versions have ditched that sinister smooth “stuffing” sausage that was once all the rage, and some contain actual vegetables, although it’s a shame how few use free-range meat. On the non-traditional front, the world’s blandest combination– brie and cranberry – finally has some more interesting competition. If someone makes one with bread sauce next year, I might even declare myself a convert. FC
Turkey sandwiches
M&S Turkey Feast Sandwich, £3.50
M&S is donating 5% from the sales of its festive food to the homelessness charity Shelter, and I recommend you give generously. This is a sandwich as rich as Herod himself, packed with turkey and herby stuffing mayonnaise – the cranberry sauce might be a step too far if you’re hoping to get any work done afterwards, though. Alas, it comes on terrible bread. 3/5
Asda Turkey Tower, £3
This one truly boggles my baubles. Apparently, it contains smoked pulled turkey, stuffing and a cranberry coleslaw, but all I could focus on was the huge slab of bubble and squeak that takes up half the bun. As a fully paid-up member of the carb-on-carb fan club, this very much appeals. It’s a bit different, at least. 3/5
Waitrose Coronation Turkey Wrap with Spinach and Coriander, £3.30
A welcome hit of spice – and I love the freshness of the spinach and coriander, although the wrap itself dissolves into a bland mush in the centre; the honey, whisky and apricot chutney might have been a step too far. 3/5
Greggs Christmas Lunch, £2.75
Lots of filling, and a decent crumbly stuffing, but the limp pancetta and lettuce and overabundance of mayonnaise made it feel as if I was eating a club sandwich from Pret. Not bad, but not very festive. 2/5
Lidl Festive Turkey Wrap, £1.79
Most of these turkey sandwiches are daringly low on vegetable matter – a few spinach or rocket leaves hardly count – making Lidl’s sprout and onion coleslaw feels like a touch of genius, supplying a rare freshness and crunch the others lack. Extra marks for bravely leaving out the cloying cranberry sauce. 3/5
Pret’s Christmas Lunch, £3.95 – **WINNER**
As the only sandwich that claims to use free-range meat, this one won my heart even before I discovered that 50p from the sale of each Pret Christmas sandwiches goes to help the homeless. Fortunately, it’s not just a worthy gesture: generously filled, the crumbly apricot-sweet stuffing is a distinct improvement on the last Pret Christmas sandwich I tried, and I like the chunky cranberries. Could do with being on more robust bread, though. I hate wet bread. 4/5
Tesco Finest Turkey Feast Sandwich, £3
Another respectable effort let down by disappointing stuffing: soft but sturdy bread and lots of filling, but the pork, chestnut and onion stuffing has an odd, faintly musty flavour that I’m blaming on the dried sage. 2.5/5
Pret’s Christmas Lunch on Gluten-Free Bread, £3.75
This is an open sandwich, a wise choice as gluten-free bread tends to be dense. It’s pretty good, but you’re destined to get mayonnaise on your Christmas jumper. 3/5
Aldi Turkey Feast Sandwich, £1.69
More like turkey mayonnaise than turkey feast – and no salad. It is cheap, though. 1/5
Boots Christmas Turkey Feast Sandwich, £2.75
There’s so much mayonnaise in here that I found myself desperately searching for solid bits of turkey. 1/5
Non-turkey sandwiches
EAT Brie, Cranberry and Nut Stuffing on Onion Seed, from £3.99
Woof, there’s a lot going on here – the nuts give it chew and the bread’s good, but the nigella seeds make it feel as if I’m eating a naan, which is confusing. 3/5
Morrisons Wensleydale and Spiced Fruit Chutney, £3 – **WINNER**
Essentially an eccles cake and cheese between two slices of lightly fruited panettone, but although the boozy chutney is a bit sweet, it’s also pleasantly zesty, and works well with the salty, creamy Wensleydale. 4/5
Waitrose Brie and Cranberry Sandwich, £3
A generous amount of brie, but it’s so young and under-seasoned that, in combination with the sugary cranberry sauce, it felt as if I was eating a butter and jam sandwich with spinach and mayonnaise. Public service announcement: a brie sandwich does not require mayonnaise. 2/5
Sainsbury’s Christmas Market Sandwich, £3
I was initially puzzled as to why a ham hock, gherkins, sauerkraut and beer-flavoured mayonnaise would remind me of a Christmas market, but it’s a good, emphatically savoury offering, so I was prepared to let it pass even before I discovered it’s a tribute to German Christmas markets, rather than the British kind selling unlocked mobiles and bowls of onions. 3/5
Waitrose Pigs Under Blankets, £3
Deeply unpleasant. 1/5
Greggs Pigs Under Blankets baguette, £3
Equally damp and sad as the above. 1/5
Vegan sandwiches rated by Meera Sodha
Asda Roasted Cauliflower And Hummus
This is the type of innovation I am curious about. A mashup of Israeli, Lebanese, Indian and British cuisine. It’s substantial but, sadly, I don’t think any of these flavours work together. And this is the cauliflower of the 1980s ... boiled and a bit soggy. 1/5
Boots Vegan Sausage
This looks really unappetising, doesn’t it? But never judge a sandwich by its colour – it’s quite tasty. The sausage, mustard and onion flavour combination is comforting and reminiscent of childhood, which is quite lovely. 3.5/5
Starbucks Very Merry Vegan Wrap
This is really vibrant looking and I’m glad Starbucks has done something different to the traditional roast. I suppose it doesn’t really say Christmas, does it? I guess they’ve gone down the joy route – lots of colour, crunch and hoping for the best. 4/5
Waitrose Smoked Carrot And Dill
It looks like rabbit food and I’m not sure it would be very filling. It’s more of a sandwich for a summer picnic. It does, however, smell amazing; the dill and the smokiness work really well together, but it sets you up for smoked salmon and ends up tasting like … well, carrot. 2.5/5
Wicked Kitchen Pea Protein (Tesco)
“We’re proud graduates of the university of common sense,” it says on the packet. That is vomit-inducing, and the phrase “pea protein pieces” is never going to create a fire in anybody’s belly. But it’s not bad as a lighter option – like a fresh Christmas salad wrapped in a tortilla. 3/5
M&S Nutcracker - **WINNER**
It feels as if this is going for a hashtag with that name. There’s sweet potato, cranberry, nut roast and almond butter dressing. Plus, some nice crunch from the pistachios. It has been made with love and I’d be really happy to buy one. 5/5
Sainsbury’s Christmas New Yorker
This conjures up images of 90s films about Christmas in New York. This has a “coconut based vegan alternative to cheese” which is a wild idea and it works. The pickles give this sandwich quite a striking personality, it just needs a bit more filling. 4/5
Pret’s Very Merry Christmas Lunch Vegan Sandwich
Pret never lets you down on filling. The quality of bread is good, the spinach is fresh and I think there’s some cumin in there. It’s just a bit stodgy. It reminds me of vegetarian food of the past which was always in need of something more to lift it up. This might send me to sleep after eating it – which would, at least, be reminiscent of Christmas dinner. 3/5
Waitrose Christmas Vegan No Turkey Feast
“Soy protein” doesn’t set my heart alight ... I don’t see it and think “yum”. But this is not bad as a meat substitute. It has nice bread, fresh spinach and a good balance of Christmas flavours – it’s an excellent sandwich full of festive cheer. 4.5/5
Co-Op Vegan Festive Feast
I love the pink and yellow, but of all the sandwiches I’ve had, this is one of the most forgettable. It’s bland and the parsnip fritter has lost its fritteriness. This might be what you give to someone who hasn’t been very good this year. 1.5/5
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