In a sacred tradition as old as 2004, “Movember”—also known as “No-Shave November”—welcomes beards and mustaches of all creeds into the world for one month. These valiant efforts began as support for men’s health awareness, sacrificing their faces to much itchiness and risking potential for patchiness.
Known side effects of facial hair include higher pay, more assertiveness, powerful karmatic influence, and a perceived authority over lesser-follicled colleagues. Studies show that mustache-blessed workers make up to 8.2% more than their mustache-less counterparts.
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