Reality shows are one of humankind's last strongholds against the invading forces of quality television. Why work hard to invent narratives that can be enjoyed for generations when you can follow the exploits of a duck-call factory and immerse yourselves in homophobia and Walmart-T-shirt-ready quips? Evolution hasn't come up with a better way to depress people than reality television yet -- luckily it's only a placeholder until cancer becomes contagious.
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