I have never been more emotionally invested in the chatty afterglow of a Super Bowl, the national championship of a sport that I couldn't give 1.5 fucks about. I am here for Missy Elliott. Luckily, Missy Elliott is here for me.
On Sunday, Super Bowl XLIX halftime show headliner Katy Perry brought Missy out as a surprise guest during her unflappably cartoonish set. I like Katy Perry, and suburban America loves Katy Perry, but Katy Perry bringing out Missy Elliott is sorta like Jay Z bringing out Beyonce: upstage ya. For sake of comparison, Katy Perry is on track to realize a 75 percent weekly sales increase in digital purchases of her singles, whereas Missy Elliott is on track to realize a 1,000 percent bump, mostly from younger consumers who'd apparently never heard "Get Ur Freak On" or "Work It" until three days ago.
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