As a divorcee with roughly two dozen failed relationships and a rudimentary knowledge of how chords work, I'm clearly the perfect candidate to talk about love songs. They're basically the only reason music exists at all -- people who make you feel all cooey and gooey inside is la-la topic number one by a pornographically huge margin. And yet, despite our endless harmonious yammering, we still write song after song from fucked-up viewpoints that make it clear we actually have no clue what love is.
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