I Hate Myselfie by Shane Dawson — scribd.com

i. I’m Shane Dawson. Some of you might know me from my videos on the internet. Some of you might know me from the movie I directed entitled . And some of you might know me as the guy you saw on the cover of this book who has an incredibly punchable face. I’m all of those things and more! I also have an incredibly punchable body, but none of you will ever get to see that. For the record, I don’t really hate myself, but I do hate the  way I portray myself online. Hence, “myselfie.” See what I did there? Online I’m this loud, outrageous, confident guy who acts like nothing bothers him and he has the whole world at his fingertips. In reality, I’m a shy, quiet guy who would rather spend his nights lying in bed watching Netflix than being a  valuable member of society. If I could spend my entire life un-derneath a heating blanket with a handful of my own balls I  would happily do so. I’m not saying that I don’t like the stuff I put out into the  world, because I genuinely enjoy my videos and think they are funny. What I’m saying is that I embrace the fact that I have a  punchable face, and that if I could punch myself without feel-ing it I would. Sometimes I scroll through my Instagram page and audibly groan. What is the point of posting four pictures a

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