Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again, the forthcoming sequel movie, is bound to be a crime against nature for many reasons, but the main one is the inclusion of Cher. I have nothing against Cher – please, nobody send me a furious Twitter-stream of incomprehensible emojis – but her role in the movie does need to be carefully examined.
In Mamma Mia 2, Cher will play Meryl Streep’s mother. Meryl Streep is 68 years old. Cher is 71. And this means that, in the Mamma Mia universe, Cher gave birth to Meryl Streep when she was three. This is horrific. It goes against everything we stand for as a species. Both morally and legally, it is a travesty. Although it does perhaps explain why Streep can endure Pierce Brosnan’s injured caterwauling so well; her life has clearly been filled with so much incredible hurt that she cannot feel pain any longer.
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